There’s more than one reason for not posting anything since the election. But it’s curious to me that October’s image of a retreatant sitting quietly looking at the hills now looks like a memorial for a bygone time.
This new photo is from Old Town Fitness, a gym I have belonged to in Key West and also fondly remember. Yesterday I agreed with a friend to work on the weight gain that seems to reflect the distress our minds have both been feeling, causing the body to call for emergency fat storage.
Conscientious care of body and de-escalation of the internal impacts on my mind seem critical to face all that’s going on these days.
For example, yesterday I was inside a hospital (for a minor diagnostic test) and I noticed feeling afraid that I may not be able to afford such care in the future. Not that I’ve taken health care access for granted, believe me. Still, I’m a privileged, well-to-do, aging white person and I’m now able to know what many others have suffered for years.
In general most of the votes and decisions and processes taking place at the highest levels are terrifying. Marching for the climate in DC was sweet and encouraging, a sign of shared resolve. Yet it also felt, eerily, as if one was listening, and not just because our thin-skinned Earless Feeder had skipped town. Russia has succeeded in the equivalent of a 21st century invasion. The likelihood of war feels imminent and even if we manage to avoid that, the loathsome creep of climate ruin is a sufficient disaster.
It’s been a test of meditation practice and I can report that the energy of unbiased awareness is a huge support. To admit the painful feelings allow me not to feel as if I’ve run aground. It hurts, but then a little clarity arises and my mind can see that this toxic detour is happening one step at a time. It can also be reversed one step at a time. But the steps need to be taken, and need to be taken soon enough .